Away….but now back

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For those who noticed *ahem not me* I hear you mutter, I have been away for a few days.

I took time away from technology mostly my phone which I switched off for 5 days.

It’s been a refreshing experience and one I will do again no doubt.

During my time away I am humbled to have reached 100 followers. A MAHOOOOSIVE thank you to all of you and special thanks to the ones who actually read my random crap 😉

Before going on my phone sabbatical, I was nominated for a couple of awards *I know I can’t believe it too! I bet they don’t read my stuff either 😊*

I will soon recognise these awards and hollow in self glory very soon.

I now have to catch up with what you all have been up to in blogland, I bet it is amazing.

Carl.

Butter legs?

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Stricken with a curse, her legs were made of butter,
given by a witch doctor, by george he was a nutter.

This one beautiful young gal, she was a damsel in distress,
she tried to cover her embarrassing butter legs, with a long flowing flowery dress.

But one hot summer day, some melted butter caused her to shudder,
her legs were gone, a puddle on the floor, could her life be more cruder?

Along came a dairy expert and made her melted legs a new,
now the damsel able to walk, and wasn’t feeling so down and blue.

So she marched on forward with a shout of defiance and the smell of victory in the air,
her legs made of butter by the witch doctor nutter, but now she really did not care.

 © C Webber 2017

Pickle Juice

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Pickle juice, go on take a sip,
Put a drop right there on your lip.

I just want to see your screwed up face,
Pickle juice, such a sour taste.

Your eyes start to water and mouth starts to wet,
Can I offer you a pint of pickle juice yet?

Hand slaps the table because you can’t withstand,
The pickle juice might, like illegal contraband.

Finally you give up the fight with the sour bitter drink,
Not a great tasting tipple, don’t you think.

© C Webber 2017

Whimsical Wednesday

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To be fair every day is whimsical for me but I now dedicate every Wednesday for a random rhyme from my random mind…..enjoy 😂

Carl 🤖

The Soup 

Scrapings from the bottom of the chicken coop,
Catfish fins and dogs eyebrows in my soup.

Add some toe nails and a pinch of sand,
the best tasting soup in all of the land.

Sweat from a bat, tears from a snail,
trump of a hybrid lama and a bunny’s cotton tail.

Two more ingredients to finish this fine concoction,
Shrimps elbows and some baby lotion.

Two hours of simmering, some cornflour to thicken,
the spoiled soup had turned to gloop, like someone had been sick in.

© C Webber 2017

Walking on grass

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Crystals sat atop, adorning each glossy blade of grass,
But I stepped upon them and fell straight on to my ass.

As pretty as it looked it caused me so much pain,
I will never walk upon that crystal topped grass again.

I came across some grass, this time was topped with jelly,
I stepped upon it and fell forward onto my belly.

As pretty as it looked it caused me so much pain,
I will never walk upon that jelly topped grass again.

I came across some grass, it was topped with bread,
I stepped upon it and fell and banged my head.

As pretty as it looked it caused me so much pain,
I will never walk upon that bread topped grass again.

© C Webber 2017

*this is for Maria who you can find at superwifeandmummy 

Check out her blog its great

It’s 1972….

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Trumpets of frantic fluttering French plugholes,  corrupted my delicate cauliflower ears,
Got a thing about adding numbers to make years.

It was 1972 when I added 971 to 1001, 
my adding here is done.

Sun filled tortilla chips, merrily salsa around the dance floor,
Span the guacamole too fast and flew out the poem door.

1 added to 1975 seems to make 1976, ever played the random game of can you pick up sticks?

Yellow carpets dressing a dining room table,
Snap off the legs and make some horns if your strong and able.

1900 added to 47 makes 1947, catch the national express all the way to Devon.

I think I will end this rambling with a year to note,
A prophetic word, get a pen an paper as I will quote.

1900 plus 134 makes a year that will come too soon. 

2034 another man on the moon.

© C Webber 2017